Born in Milwaukee, WI, at St. Mary's Hospital on March 21, 1965, Thomas Robert Parenteau came into the world big and beautiful. On time, happy and hungry—for everything. Pretty much how he managed his life.
He lived in Shorewood, Brown Deer and back to Shorewood, attending Atwater, Brown Deer Elementary and Shorewood High School. He loved swimming, games and friends.
Robert loved his family. Raucous, friendly, playful, supportive, they were his source of comfort, reality checks and torment, as only family can be. Unfailingly supportive, he was always there when one of us needed him. We tried to do and be the same for him.
Robert’s life was full. He embraced life with a huge heart. He took it all in, he seemed to hear more than we hear, saw more than we saw and felt more than we feel. As he grew to adulthood, he was known as a truth-teller. An exuberant extrovert, he was born into a family of happy introverts and found us utterly baffling and we him at times. As an adult, he sought those who cheered him, those who kept him company and especially those who loved to play.
His path was rarely easy. He broke his neck when he was in high school and his back when he was in his forties. He battled peripheral neuropathy and diabetes for over a decade. He self-medicated bipolar disorder with alcohol. In spite of all of this, he never ceased his efforts to do the right thing. We share these things about Robert to bring light to the shame and stigma that people with mental illness and alcoholism must endure, and inhibit their reaching out for help.
We are honored to have walked with Robert on his journey and have been grateful for his company on ours. He “had our backs” fiercely. He had compassion for each and every outsider he met. His resilience was an inspiration. He was a man of honor and a faithful friend. His life was a success in the most important ways and he leaves a hole in the hearts of many.
Robert connected with animals, sometimes better than with people. He grew up with Sweet Samantha Saturday Suzanne (Sammie) and her many litters of dissimilar puppies. His high school graduation present was his beloved Tasha, a pedigreed Persian kitten who lived nearly 20 years. He loved his mutt Tanner who literally gave him a run for his money! Most recently, he had three rescue cats, Nicky, Zoe and Stanley.
Being born to Catholic Irish-French-Canadian parents means you get family “on steroids”… His mother and father each have five siblings and many of them have multiple children and grandchildren. The ancestor situation is equally populated. It is further compounded with the fact that divorce in Robert's family is a legal formality. Those who left and remarried never really leave. Love and connection do not die in Robert's family. Photos in this section represent a small part of the Robert’s extended family. The last four photos represent a smattering of the last 37 years of the extended Parenteau family’s participation in Al’s Run in Milwaukee each fall. Our gathering recently has been to honor Robert’s father, Tom who left our ordinary world in 1997.
Planting and harvesting flowers and vegetables was what Robert did so well. He took great pride in maintaining lawns and landscape. Every fall he would be out nearly every day clearing the lawn of leaves for his mom and stepdad and several neighbors. He’d keep doing it until even the oaks dropped their leaves, dressed in a down jacket for warmth. He loved composting and he always looked forward to emptying the composter for the new spring plantings. He was so passionate about composting that he would collect the neighbors’ chewed-up leaves from the street and re-chop them with the mower to speed the composting process. The beauty of the lawn, flowers, shrubs and vegetables he cared for is a tribute to his enthusiasm for gardening.
He was also a faithful waterer, knowing exactly when and how much to water his mother’s 120 house plants!
Robert was best known for his sports knowledge. When asked, he could immediately tell you nearly anything about any NFL player. Watching games with him was always a lesson about how the game was played (or should be played)! He loved the Packers, Bucks and Brewers. His family loved watching with him and heartily absorbed his enthusiasm.
Robert loved to eat, cook and bake. From the time he was little, standing on a chair, he was stirring the dough and chopping potatoes. As time marched on, his talents increased and he thought nothing of planning and preparing meals for 10-12 people. He loved spareribs and sauerkraut, any ethnic food but especially Mexican. In the fall he dried apples and pears and made spiced apple butter. At Christmas he baked batch after batch of cookies and candies. His specialty was spiced pecans and English toffee, which were frequent annual requests by family and friends.
